This was my "Best Man" speech for the wedding of my brother, Tim, and his wife, Melissa, on December 28, 2012. If you can't tell, I was so very honored and proud to be standing up there by his side...
As untraditional as a female being a “Best Man” is, if you
know Tim & myself, you wouldn’t question the position. I was 20 months old when Tim was brought home
from the hospital, so in all actuality, he was there as long as I can remember…
and then some. We had the normal
relationship of a brother and sister growing up. We laughed together while
dressing up our poor dogs in costumes, we fought over the remote for Saturday
morning cartoons of He-Man versus Care Bears, and we plotted together to catch
Santa Clause (which I will say that we fell asleep under the kitchen table too
early to ever determine a definitive answer of his existence).
Being the older sister had its benefits, like always having a
guinea pig for trying out new makeup colors and techniques, someone to force to
bring his GI Joes to play Barbies with me, and of course always having victims
for new hair cuts & styles (sorry about the bald spots to you & Luke). Being the older sister
also had its downfalls, though. In high
school, where I was coming into my own coolness, Tim was around. All the time.
Most likely because I had my group of girlfriends over quite a bit, and
Tim seemed to like the attention of the pretty older women. He flirted and made jokes. And they laughed. And I was annoyed. Although I loved my brother like any sister
would, my main memories of our relationship in high school were being annoyed
that he stole the show quite a bit.
But then college came for both of us. I went to Kansas City,
and two years later, Tim went to Chicago.
We were over 500 miles apart for the first time ever. To some, that doesn’t sound like a huge
distance, but for those of us from small towns, you know how much of an impact
that that gap can have. During this time
was when the real conversations started happening. About friendships, about love, about
ourselves. I knew that Tim had always
had a kind heart and a sweet spirit, but as we both started becoming adults,
this became much more evident. His
loyalty and support to me was unwavering, regardless of the dumb decisions I
made and dumb guys I dated (not you, Ryan).
I felt complimented when people would describe Tim as a male version of
me or vice versa. Even when his career
path led him to be surrounded by people who led lifestyles quite different from
his own, he stayed the strong God-fearing man that he is, welcoming those
experiences and friendships with open arms… And with his unwavering sense of
humor, he sometimes even welcomed those experiences with an open orange jumpsuit.
Tim has been my best friend for a long time, and I am so
proud of the person he is. He is a man
of God, loyal to the core, kind and loving, creative and funny without measure,
an amazing uncle, and someone I look up to.
All of these traits that I knew would make him a wonderful boyfriend and
husband. But Tim just had such high
expectations for girls he would consider dating. So he just didn’t. At times I would think that he just needed to
lower his standards. But I would quickly
recant those thoughts, knowing that God’s plan for Tim’s life was bigger than
anything I could imagine.
Girlfriends & marriage rarely came up in conversations
over the past several years, and that was just how it was. Until for some reason this past Labor Day
weekend, while my family was at Table Rock Lake, I brought it up that I thought
that when Tim found someone, it was going to move fast, and it was going to be
perfect. I think his response was just
an eye roll and a laugh. Less than two
weeks later, though, I heard the name Melissa for the first time. And I did what any protective sister would
do. I stalked her on Facebook. After seeing what I could see, this is the
text that I sent Tim: “So I creeped on Melissa’s Facebook page. 1:
She’s beautiful. 2: she doesn’t
hide her faith. 3: she’s a first grade
teacher-cute. 4: I approve… “ To Tim’s reply of “Haha. That’s awesome. We’ve already talked a bunch and are going
out tomorrow.” At that moment, I knew. I
just had a feeling that this was it, that she was the one.
Then a couple weeks later, we were invited to meet her. My family was all invited down to our cabin
at Table Rock Lake to meet Melissa. It
is a 3½ hour drive for my Kansas City Crew, and my nerves were going
crazy. The nervousness was not for Tim,
though, but for me. Like I said a moment
ago, I knew Tim had found his One. But would
she like me? Would she think my kids were cute? Would I have a place in her
life? I had been praying for Melissa,
not knowing her, for many years. I
prayed for Tim’s future spouse to be his compliment, his partner in life and
dreams and goals, the other half of his heart.
And all of a sudden I was going to meet this woman that only God could
have prepared. Fortunately, when we met,
there was an immediate sense of closeness that you usually have with someone
you have known for a while. That weekend
we got to know Melissa in a 400 square foot cabin, surrounded by 6 adults, a
toddler, an infant and a 90 pound chocolate lab. She took the tight
arrangements with a grain of salt, loved on my kiddos like she was already
their aunt, and she exceeded any dreams I had for my brother.
Over the last several weeks, I have been fortunate to spend a
decent amount of time with Melissa, and I am constantly amazed at her heart,
her character, and her pure love for my brother. Anyone who sees Tim & Melissa together
cannot question the timing of their relationship, their love, or the hand that
God has had in all of it. They were
meant to be.
To Melissa, thank you for choosing my brother. Thank you for knowing how blessed you are to
have found him. Thank you for laughing
at his jokes, going along with his crazy adventures, sharing his dreams. Thank
you for loving him like I have always prayed for him to be loved and for
treating him the way he deserves to be treated. Thank you for being his one and
only, his other half, and now his wife.
And to Tim, I hope you know how blessed I feel to have you as
my brother. Thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for always loving and supporting me
and for asking me to stand beside you on this special day.
So, let’s all raise our glasses and toast to the happy
couple, my brother Tim, and my now sister Melissa. I love you both so much and wish you all the
best that life has to offer.
Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Tim & Melissa Hawn, and may God bless
your life together.
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| Tim & Melissa, 12/28/12 |
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| My baby brother and me, circa 1988 |
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