Thankful

As is popular on social networking sites, here is my Thankful List.  One for every day in November.

I am thankful for...

1.  God and His amazing grace, faithfulness, forgiveness, protection, guidance, and Love.
2.  Ryan, a wonderful husband who supports me when I feel helpless, makes me laugh when I'm sad, and loves me when I don't deserve it.
3.  Caiden, our happy, healthy, perfect little boy.
4.  Max, our dog, who is our first baby and still thinks he belongs on our laps.
5.  Chocolate.  No explanation necessary.
6.  My parents and brothers.  My upbringing was full of values, laughter, fun, and learning.  I wouldn't change a single thing and know that I am who I am today because of how I grew up.
7.  My job.  Who can say with honesty that they love to go to work every single day?  Me.
8.  Our home.  We bought this house 16 months ago, and although it has been a slow process of renovations and updates, it became our home as soon as we stepped into it.
9.  Amazing friends who understand that marriage and babies sometimes get in the way of social interaction and who still love and support us nonetheless.
10.  Music.  It has been such a huge part of my life from church plays to school band and choir to musical mission trips in South America.  I hope that I can pass on my passion to Caiden and the understanding that music can be such a great form of expression and connection into a person's heart.
11.  A safe, reliable car.
12.  The Lake.  I love having a special place that my family can go to relax and have fun.  I hope Caiden takes the memories we will have at Table Rock with him as he grows up, just as I take with me from when I was younger.
13.  Caffeine Free Diet Mt. Dew.  And Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper.
14.  When Ryan gets up with Caiden at 7am to let me sleep in on a weekend that I don't have to work.
15.  Ice cream.  See #5.
16.  The troops serving (and who have served) in the US and across the world to help protect the freedoms of our country.
17.  Birthdays.  I love feeling special and making other people feel the same way on their special day :)
18.  Pedicures.
19.  Burt's Bees lip balm.
20.  The high I get from finding a great bargain.  I don't remember the last time I bought something full price.  And I love that!
21.  Amazon.com Subscribe & Save diapers.  Seriously, I get diapers cheaper than from any retail store (even on super-sale), delivered to my house FOR FREE as often as I'd like.  I haven't bought diapers from a store in... well, since before Caiden was born.  No, I don't get commission from them for promoting their services, but man, if I did, I'd be a billionaire.
22.  Family traditions that have been going on as long as I can remember... and that we can hopefully continue with our family.
23.  A good hug.
24.  A perfect, sunny, upper-60 degree fall day.
25.  Individuals that I am randomly introduced to, that for a variety of reasons, have left a permanent imprint on my heart.
26.  A great burger.
27.  That Ryan will give me a foot massage whenever I ask.
28.  Finding a church that we love that offers so many opportunities for our family to grow in our faith.
29.  My health.
30.  The opportunities I have been given to become who I want and to live my life the best way I know how.  The opportunities I have taken to better my own life and the life of my family.  The opportunities I hope to have to thank those who have helped me get to where I am.

15 Things I've Learned...

I have honestly been trying to come up with a funny, quirky list of some of the things I have learned since becoming a mom... well, for several months now.  Then, I read a great list from one of the blogs I read.  So, instead of racking my brain for something better, I just decided to re-post this list.  Maybe a future post of mine will be some additions to this list.  Well, just enjoy this one for now!

15 Things That Change When You Have A Baby

By Rebecca Woolf

1. You finally stop to smell the roses, because your baby is in your arms.
2. Where you once believed you were fearless, you now find yourself afraid. 
3. The sacrifices you thought you made to have a child no longer seem like sacrifices.
4. You respect your body ... finally.
5. You respect your parents and love them in a new way.
6. You find that your baby's pain feels much worse than your own.
7. You believe once again in the things you believed in as a child.
8. You lose touch with the people in your life whom you should have banished years ago.
9. Your heart breaks much more easily. 
10. You think of someone else 234,836,178,976 times a day.
11. Every day is a surprise.
12. Bodily functions are no longer repulsive. In fact, they please you. (Hooray for poop!)
13. You look at your baby in the mirror instead of yourself.
14. You become a morning person.
15. Your love becomes limitless, a superhuman power.

From: http://www.babycenter.com/0_forty-two-things-that-change-when-you-have-a-baby_1452535.bc?scid=momsbaby_20110920:2&pe=MlV6d1gxUHwyMDExMDkyMA 

I've Got Friends in Lowww Places

Having a baby changes your life.  In more ways than one.  Duh.  I had heard that relationships you had before having kiddos could be altered once your little one arrived, but never really thought too much about it.  I loved all the friends in my life.  I was sure having our little man would not change things that much.

Well, things did change.  But not necessarily how you might think.  Yes, we did have a few friends who seemed to fade off into the distance without much ado.  Some were more frustrating and harder to let go than others.  But the biggest changes I encountered were how many of my friendships grew.  Especially my friendships with other moms and moms-to-be.  Not only did we share this common thread - our kiddos - but our empathy for each other deepened.  We recognize and understand the aspects of daily life that only other moms & dads can.  We know the work that it takes to raise children, especially when you are trying to do so while working outside of the home, with Christian values, and all-the-while, trying to stay current and connected to the outside world.

I have mentioned this in a previous post that when I became a mother, I learned so much about my own mom.  I feel very similar feelings about my friends who were mothers before me.  The cliche is absolutely true that until you have your own children, you just don't understand how it changes your life.  How you would give up your own life to save your child's.  How you worry about his happiness, his future, his safety... all of the time.  How you never knew your heart could be so filled with happiness that at some moments throughout the day, you have to hide the tears of joy trickling down your face.

It goes both ways, too.  My friends who were mothers prior to me began reaching out to me more, supporting me throughout the pregnancy, and after Caiden came into our lives.  It was wonderful having that empathetic shoulder to lean on, a knowledgeable ear to listen to my stories and questions (or facebook posts), and an understanding heart who shares in the same small joys and trials of motherhood that I was experiencing.  Now that I have a couple of friends who are pregnant with their first, I see myself doing the same things.  I am so excited to help them navigate the trek through the baby registry and tips for saving money and time.  But more so, I am highly awaiting their turn to experience those same joys, both small and large, that I have just recently gone through myself.   And honestly, I can't wait to have more opportunities for play dates and mommy-get-togethers :)

And there is my other group of friends who are not yet parents, who are in different stages of their lives, but that are still constant in mine.  I think it takes a strong relationship to last through those alternating phases, being completely understanding and patient while each person takes their turn with significant events... even when those milestones seem to be polar opposites of each other.  Those friends who I can reconnect with instantly, as if time has not even passed, living in the moments that we are able to spend together... well, those friends are treasures to me.

Friendships are very fluid... they change and develop and grow closer together and farther apart constantly.  Trying to keep them exactly the same for all time is unrealistic and, in my experience, a near guarantee for failure.  This knowledge has only been highlighted as I have become a mom.  I am so fortunate that I do have a wonderful group of friends in my life who understand the life changes I am going through or at least are patient until those ebbs and flows have calmed.  They are from different stages in my life, are all in different stages of their own, and we love each other just the same.  I am so grateful for each of these friends and the value they have added in my life.  I hope I have or can someday do the same for them.

**I did not post any pictures of my friends in this blog, but you know who you are :)

Six Months!

Caiden Lake Lang turned 6 months old on May 30, 2011.  I cannot believe my baby is getting so big!!  These six months have flown by, but I cannot honestly remember what life was like before we were blessed with his arrival!  To my sweet baby son...

Caiden, you are such a happy boy.  People we know, along with many we don't, comment all of the time about just how "good" you are.  You are laid back, adapt easily to whatever situation we put you in, and rarely fuss.  You usually have a smile on your face, and often you are giggling, if not immersed in a full-blown belly laugh.  You always have a huge smile for Mommy or Daddy when they see you in the morning or after they come home in the evening.  You especially love Max, and think it is hilarious when he licks your feet or has his tongue hanging out of his mouth.  You love your daycare and have been coined a "ladies man" there since you flirt with all the girls in your class.  You are friendly to everyone you meet, and are drawn to other babies and children.

You sleep so, so well, having slept through the night since you were about 6 weeks old.  Your bedtime routine begins at 7pm with a bath (every other night), music, a bottle, book, and your bedtime prayer, and you are almost always asleep by 8pm (after talking to yourself and giggling in your crib).  We hear you wake up, again just chatting and figuring out new sounds, between 7-8am.  You love sleeping with your Lion lovie and rolling over to your stomach for your night's rest.  You usually take two big 2-3 hour naps during the day and sometimes a quick catnap in the evening.  You could take or leave your pacifier for bed or naptime.  You have only had milk for nutrition... no solid foods or rice cereal just yet, although you intently watch others when they are eating or drinking their food.

You love your jumparoo, swinging, tummy time, sitting up, and playing with many types of toys.  You have become quite the mobile boy, though it is just with rolling over.  You start in one place and within minutes are across the room.  You like listening to music and dancing with Mommy or Daddy.  You love when Mommy raps to you, especially her alphabet rap song... you laugh every single time.  I have thought about taking a video of my "Mommy Rap" and showing it to your friends when you are a teenager.  We'll see how well behaved you are then :)  Bath time is so much fun, and you could stay splashing in the water for hours if we let you.  You like helping Daddy with chores around the house and yard work.  You are a great traveler, whether it is in the car, stroller, boat, or Bjorn.  You are very observant and are always acutely interested in new surroundings.  New people and places often distract you from things like eating because you are checking everything out and trying to soak it all in.

You have visited several places including Farmington, Table Rock Lake & Branson, and Blue Springs.  You have been to school, the pediatrician, church (several), two weddings, homes of Mommy's and Daddy's friends, one birthday party, many stores & restaurants, and the park.  You have been through one tornado drill and one real tornado warning at school when a tornado was only about a mile away (your teachers said you were so brave, excited about the field trip to the "big room" until the bad weather passed).  You have taken rides in the car, truck, Grandpa T's skiboat, the paddleboat, and the SeaDoo with Daddy.  You have also tried to ride on Max, but he didn't really enjoy it as much as you :)  You had your Baby Dedication at First Baptist Church in Farmington, and Mommy & Daddy were so proud of you!

You weigh 16 pounds, 14 ounces (50th percentile) and are 27 inches long (75th percentile).  You have dark blonde/light brown hair and dark blue eyes, with a cute button nose.  You have long toes and big feet.  You have the same chubby cheeks you've had since you were born and are starting to get some new rolls in your thighs.  You do not have any teeth yet but are currently working on a couple. You wear clothes that are sized for your age, and you are starting to sport all of your 6-9 month summer fashions.  Yes, you are mommy's little dress-up doll, but you humor her very graciously.

You are a happy, healthy boy and have blessed your Mommy & Daddy so very much since you were born.  You are the light of our lives, and we could not imagine not having you with us.  We love you, Caiden Lake and are so lucky to be your parents.

Love,

Mommy

Mom's Day Numero Uno

First photo of my momma and me - November 17, 1979

In the weeks leading up to my first Mother's Day, ironically, I was not thinking too much of myself.  My mind was directed more toward my own mother and the kind of mom she has been to me and my two brothers.  As soon as Caiden was born and I became a momma myself, I have had such a new appreciation to moms of all kinds... traditional family, single mother, working and stay-at-home mom, lots of kiddos, one kiddo, adopted kiddo.  But on the top of this list is the wonderful admiration I have of my own mom, Cathy Hawn.  In a word, she is AMAZING.  No joke.  No exaggeration.  

Christmas, 1979

She is an awesome cook, and my husband often asks if I will make (or learn to make) one of her dishes.  Clam chowder, lasagna, the best fried chicken with all the fixins, brownies, potato soup, enchiladas, strawberry shortcake... and the list goes on and on.  I have picked up on her knack for cooking, but I still cannot compete with her culinary greatness!  My mouth is watering right now...

Some fancy dancing.

She is an amazing teacher, both professionally and personally.  She has had many students - from 5th grade to college - who have thanked her and showed their appreciation for her knowledge, her patience, her fairness, her stickers on their tests (calculus, of course!), her passion for teaching.  She has also been such a great teacher to my brothers and myself, whether it be helping us with homework, teaching us how to ride a bike, playing the piano, time management, or just how to be patient and kind to others.  The art of sending prompt thank-you notes, writing letters on paper, and the joy in reading a good book.  The importance of a great hug.  And she is just so stinking smart!!!  She's got book smarts, as well as life smarts... a combo that is hard to come by these days. 

One of many photos my dad made us pose for.

She is determined and passionate and a hard-worker.  She had three kiddos and when Tim was in kindergarten, she decided to go back to school full-time to become a teacher.  She completed her undergrad and graduate work (with a 4.0, I might add), commuting over 1 hour each way, and would like to get her doctorate at some point as well.  I'll be the first to admit that going back to school as a "non-traditional" student for a second degree wasn't the easiest thing in the world, but I cannot imagine making that decision with three children at home.  She never takes the easy way out... on anything.  She makes most of her meals from scratch, has never given a test in class that she has given before (can you imagine making brand new tests for every class, every semester, for the past 20 years?!?!), and she would rather re-do hours of trim and crown molding in the Lake house than just let there be a blemish.

My Wedding -  March 29, 2008

She is a wonderful Christian role-model.  Did I love going to church Sunday morning, Sunday evening, and on Wednesdays every week growing up?  No.  But I appreciate having that regimen as a child, now in my adulthood.  We were exposed to all aspects of God through church, choir, youth group, as well as prayer at the dinner table and before bedtime, Bible stories, and consistent Christian virtues displayed in our home.  My mom loves God.  She is patient, kind, self-less, and has a servant's heart.  She goes above and beyond for anyone she knows.  She exudes love, she is LOVE, and she shows that love to her family and friends daily.  I do not think there is a person out there who could have anything negative to say about her character.  I love being able to begin some of those faith rituals with my son in my own home and hope that he grows to love the Lord like we were shown growing up. 

April 2011

As a new mom myself, my relationship with my own mother has deepened.  We share child-rearing tips, laugh with each other at the "old" and "new" way of doing things, and wonder how my generation ever survived sleeping on our tummies, eating food at 3 months of age, and riding in the car on someone's lap.  I appreciate not only what she did for us as children, but what she still does for us as adults.  I don't think there will ever be a day when she doesn't rub my feet when I have them on her lap, or when she doesn't send me a "just because" card, or when she doesn't make a quick weekend visit feel like a huge holiday.  We love spending time together, and I instantly feel a peace whenever she is around.  And I'll be the first to admit that as a teenager with so much angst (ha...), I VOWED to never be like my mom, but now I see myself doing and saying the same things that she did so many years ago.  And I am proud of those things and who I am becoming because it is like her.  

My beautiful Mom.

So, on Mother's Day, I wanted to not make the spotlight about being a mom myself, but to thank my own mother for being, well... just fabulous.  She is my mom, my friend, my confidante, my sounding board, my go-to for SOOOOOOO many things.  I love my mom so very much, and if I can someday be half (or a quarter) of the mom she was to us, I will feel like a success.  

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.  I love you!!!!

    

1 Month Down... Only 348 More to Go.

Well, if I calculate approximately retiring at age 60, I have only about 348 months of work left.  Always looking at the bright side, you know? Actually, I still love my job.  I've taken care of some very sick kiddos in the past couple of weeks, but it just makes me appreciate my healthy little boy and my life so much more.  I am getting ready to transition to the night shift next week, so it will be a change for our family.  Ryan will be doing the early morning feeding and having to get up if Caiden wakes up in the middle of the night (which is very rare, but still happens with a cold or the night after vaccinations).  I will be picking Caiden up from daycare, which I am greatly looking forward to.  **I will admit that I have been a bit jealous when Ryan tells stories of him walking in to Caiden's daycare room and is greeted by that big, gummy grin.**  Daddy & Caid will have to be out of the house or super quiet while I nap before my shifts on the weekends.  So, I know it will be a little different around our house, but hopefully the transition will be smooth and easy on everyone.

Caiden turned 4 months old on March 30th.  I can't believe time has gone by so quickly!  He's right on track with his development, and he's even ahead of the curve, conquering many 5 month and a couple of 6 month milestones.  We're so proud of our little man.  He is as handsome as ever and is still holding onto his dark blue eyes from Mommy.  His new hair is coming in much lighter than we expected, too.  So, maybe he gets two of his traits from his momma.  But, alas, I realize as everyone tells me just how much he looks like his daddy.  And that's okay... Daddy is pretty handsome, too!!

Caid is such a happy, laid-back baby.  I have warned Ryan numerous times that most babies are not this easy.  From the day he was born, he has just been such a good baby.  I was thrown off by it, actually.  I take care of babies all day long, most of them fussing at some point or having reflux issues or not sleeping/napping well or just being a little "high maintenance." Not Caiden Lake.  He sleeps great, eats amazingly well, and adapts with such ease to any situation we put him in.  Some days, it seems like he can take care of himself.  Ryan and I both agree that because Caiden has been so easy, our next child will probably give us a run for our money. We hope we're wrong and have only well-behaved, chill kiddos... we are just realistic :)

So, life right now is pretty good. Springtime seems to have decided to stick around (minus the snow, hail storm, and overnight chills we've had in the past couple of weeks).  We are still working on our yard and house (ah, home-ownership), but love that we can have Caid & Max outside with us now.  Ryan is working hard at his job, with several projects on which he is the lead architect.  He is also gearing up again to take more of his licensing tests (more on that in another post).  Our house is never dull, that's for sure!  And after saying all that, A Day in the Life of the Langs is... well, pretty wonderful!!

The Lang Family, December 2010 (photo by Tim Hawn)

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Back to Work I Go

Valentine's Day 2011

I never thought I would want to be a stay-at-home mom, but the day before I went back to work, I was re-thinking that opinion.  I was blessed to be able to take three months off of work to spend with Caiden, and I honestly enjoyed every second of it.  Although for most of those three months, we were homebound due to healing post-delivery, RSV/flu season in the outside world, blizzards, and the like.  Spending all day, every day (minus a handful of times I ran errands while Ryan stayed with Caiden & one date night while my parents babysat Caiden for the first time) with my little man was wonderful.  I still don't know how twelve weeks went by so quickly.  As all moms say, "They grow up so fast!"

Luckily, I have a job that I absolutely love.  I am so passionate about being a Registered Nurse in the Intensive Care Nursery and caring for babies who were born way too early or have illnesses or conditions that need extra help.  Caring for the tiniest of patients is an amazing, humbling job.  Seeing these tiny faces, hands, toes day after day and realizing how precious life is has been a life-changing experience for me, to say the least.  And supporting their families is something I truly enjoy as well.  The parents are often scared, confused, angry... especially when there are no immediate answers about their new babies.  I try to be as much of a support and a sounding board for them during their child's time in our unit.  Before I left for maternity leave, however, I was warned from other nurses that it could be a tough transition coming back to these sick babies.  Some nurses try to come back to work and realize that after just having had a baby of their own, the job now hits too close to home.  They decide to leave the job permanently.  But as I mentioned before, I cannot see myself working anywhere else right now, so I knew going back to the ICN was what I wanted to do.

Ryan & Caiden laughing at each other

The days leading up to my first 12-hour shift were rough to say the least.  How could I leave Caiden?  How could I hand him over to daycare teachers whom I had only met for a few minutes?  How could I take care of babies at work while I was paying someone else to take care of my little boy?  All of these thoughts swirled through my mind morning, noon, and night.  I had insomnia that was worse than when I was pregnant.  I teared up nearly every time I held my son in my arms at the thought that it would sometimes be 14 hours between times that I could see his face.  But at the same time, I was excited about going back to work, doing what I love, talking to other adults.  Which, in turn, made me feel guilty about leaving him as well.

Thursday came too quickly.  The day was long, my feet and brain were more tired than I ever remember, and the usually 15 minute drive home took 1 1/2 hours due to the ice storm and blizzard that evening that I had to get through.  But it was all worth it.  I survived.  Caiden survived.  Ryan survived.  And I only called daycare once to check in on my baby (they said he was having the best first day!).

Max, the best dog ever, on his 2nd birthday

Now, two weeks of work later, things are going smoothly.  Ryan has his routine with Caiden in the mornings and evenings down pat.  I'm back to work and loving it.  I have not had the feelings of guilt that I was warned about.  I know that if I am happy and fulfilled, I'm going to be a better mommy because of it.  And seeing all of the sick babies I care for only makes me that much more thankful for my own healthy son.  I now have more compassion for the mothers that I encounter.  One of my patients was born at 34 weeks with transposition of the great vessels (a bad heart condition that requires a lot of hospitalization and multiple heart surgeries).  He had only been in our unit one week, but his parents had been there every day.  Unfortunately, he was too sick to be held.  After a week including a surgery, medications, oxygen therapy, and careful observation, the doctors thought he was doing well enough for his mommy to hold him.  I was lucky enough to be his nurse this first day that his mommy was able to cuddle and breastfeed him.  I laid this tiny baby in his momma's arms, carefully maneuvering his tether of wires, tubes, and cords around his bed.  I was the one to help with the first time attempt to breastfeed, giving them encouragement and support.  As a mom myself now, I was able to view this moment for the huge milestone that it is, instead of just a normal nursing task.  I actually nearly cried myself seeing this wonderful bonding experience between a mother and her newborn.  It was a beautiful reminder of how blessed I am to have a healthy, happy baby boy at home with me every day.

Could he be any more precious?

I was asked so many times in the days and weeks leading up to my going back to work how I was "handling" it all or how I was going to "make it" leaving Caiden with someone else (some people aren't the most tactful when talking about my baby, I have found).  Well, in all honesty, we are all doing great.  Of course I miss my son when I am gone for 14 hours during the day.  Yes, I am sad when I only get to see him for a total of 30 seconds in a 24 hour period just to kiss him on the sleeping face when I leave for work in the morning or get home in the evening.  And working three days in a row does make it that much harder.  BUT, I absolutely love my job.  It is something that I believe I am successful in and an area that I can really make a positive difference in others' lives.  I am honored to care for little babies and support their families in sometimes difficult circumstances.  It is challenging, heartbreaking at times, so rewarding at others, and wonderfully fulfilling.  And although I am tired at the end of each day, I get to come home to my wonderful husband, amazing son, and great dog, proud of my accomplishments from the day and a better wife and mother because of it all.

Caiden Lake Lang

Caiden Lake Lang
Born November 30, 2010 at 1:43 pm
8 pounds, 10 ounces
20 inches long

On Tuesday, November 30, Ryan and I were blessed with our first child, Caiden Lake Lang.  He was perfect.  He was dreamed of and planned for since... well, as long as I can remember.

I will say that the pregnancy was not what I had pictured.  At 6 weeks, I began the morning sickness phase.  Now, like many moms-to-be, I say "morning" very loosely.  Weeks 6 & 7, I threw up all the time.  I'm sure you're thinking, "Yeah, I puked a few times, too" or "I felt crappy all the time when I was pregnant."  Well, those first couple of weeks, I threw up 15-20 times per day and felt like I was going to in between.  No exaggeration.  I was either in bed or in the bathroom.  Week 8, I was started on one anti-emetic medication.  Nada.  It did nothing.  So I was also put on another drug to alternate.  The combination helped a little.  I was still getting sick about 8-10 times per day, though.  Well, there was little else I could do as I tried all the other suggestions with no luck (peppermint, ginger, carbonation, Vitamin B suckers, sleep, soup, popsicles, etc.).  This continued until I was 26 weeks pregnant.  Once again, I'm not exaggerating. I think that I just learned how to function this way, as during this time I was finishing up nursing school and studying/taking my Board Examinations for my nursing license.  I don't know how I did all of this.  It is all kind of a blur, actually.  

36 weeks pregnant.

For 6 weeks, pregnancy was great!  I had that "glow" that other moms talk about.  I felt healthy, happy, and attractive.  Then, the end of summer hit.  I was hot.  I gained all my pregnancy weight (as I actually had lost about 13 pounds up to this point), I was working 3, 12-hour shifts every week at my new job at the hospital, I felt like others at the end of a pregnancy.  Big & uncomfortable.  The last month of my pregnancy, each weekly visit to my doctor ended with how much I had dilated and her saying, "Oh, you definitely won't make it until the end of the week."  Lies, lies, lies.  Yes, I did make it to the end of the week.  And again.  And again.  And again.  My due date came and went, and little man wasn't budging. I tried walking.  I tried raking leaves.  I tried sitting and bouncing on the exercise ball.  I tried pineapple, spicy foods, a little caffeine.  I tried talking to Caiden and begging him to come out.  I'll come right out and say that we even tried sex.  Not fun for either Ryan nor myself... I don't understand how women can actually enjoy it late in their pregnancy.  But nothing worked.  Nothing could convince little man, not even all those weeks of Braxton-Hicks, to let us see his sweet, little face. 

First family photo.

1 minute old.

At nine days past my due date, my doctor decided to induce me.  This is something I had hoped would not need to happen.  I am all for letting the baby decide when he is ready to come out into the world, and the less medical intervention, the better, in my opinion.  But throughout the later stages of my pregnancy, Caiden was estimated to be a big boy, a prediction of nine pounds by my doctor.  I had already dilated to 4 cm by the time I even went to the hospital, but with first pregnancies, I was still assured that it would take the average induction of about 12-18 hours of labor.  Again, lies.  From the moment I was started on oxytocin and the doctor broke my water, Caiden changed his mind... with vigor!  My contractions started, yes started, at two to three minutes apart and never took a break.  The first stage of labor usually takes up to 12 hours.  Mine took 5 1/2 hours.  The second stage of labor can take upwards of 4-6 hours.  Mine took 15 minutes.  The third stage of labor (pushing) usually takes an hour or more.  Mine took 10 minutes and 2-3 pushes.  Now, I'm not saying all of this to brag.  It was the worst pain of my life.  Especially with an epidural that only worked on my left thigh and no IV drugs.  I felt every single thing.  But it only lasted 6 hours from beginning to end.  And what an end it was!!!  My beautiful baby boy was laid on my chest, and I fell in love instantly.  Cliche?  Sure.  True?  Absolutely.  Ryan and I cried together, holding our sweet, precious baby for the first time.   

I have dreamed of becoming a mommy since I was a little girl.  I could never have imagined how amazing it would be or just how enriched my life would become.  Caiden is the absolute light of my life.  He brings joy into my heart that I have never experienced.  I am sometimes overwhelmed to the point of tears, just thinking about him.  It might not have been the idealized pregnancy or labor and delivery I dreamed of, but I would do it over and over again to have the same outcome... a healthy, handsome, perfect baby boy.  I love you, sweet Caiden, and am so proud to be your mommy. 

Caiden's Newborn Photos,
12 Days Old.

Better Late Than Never

Well, here's a recap of the last several years...

I graduated in May 2003 from the University of MO - Kansas City with my degree in Psychology.  I didn't really want to do anything with psychology, though, so I tried out a few different types of work including retail management, film production, event planning, and nannying.  When the film production company I was working for moved into a new building, Ryan was one of the architects who designed it.  We met, dated, got engaged, and were married on March 29, 2008 in Kansas City.  Rewind a bit to say that Ryan graduated in May 2006 from the University of Kansas with his degree in Architecture. Soon into our relationship, I began questioning my career path and decided that nursing was where I wanted to direct my life.  I had always loved medicine and had a passion for patient care, so this seemed to be a great fit for me!  I went to Saint Luke's College of Nursing in Kansas City and graduated with my BSN in May 2010. While in school, we adopted our first (fur) child, Maximus "Max" Wayne Lang, a chocolate labrador.  We believe that he believes he is a human, as he has been treated that way since we brought him home.  We bought our first home in July 2010 in the Brookside area of Kansas City and began our non-fur family with our first child, Caiden Lake Lang, born on November 30, 2010.  He has been such a blessing in our lives, but I'll have more on him in another post :)  I am currently a registered nurse in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit at Children's Mercy Hospital in downtown Kansas City and love it.  I absolutely cannot imagine myself doing anything else.  Ryan currently is an architect in the Infrastructure Division at Burns & McDonnell in Kansas City, and he loves his job, as well.  Our happy family loves going to Table Rock Lake, being outdoors, and loves spending time with our friends and family.

 Hopefully, you'll get to know us even better with this blog!

Ryan & Julie

Our Wedding Day, 03/29/08

Maximus "Max" Wayne Lang, born 02/27/09

Our First Home!!

Caiden Lake Lang, born 11/30/10